今日は彼岸の中日。
盆は忙しさにかまけ、墓参りも出来ず仕舞い。
両親に無沙汰を詫び、先日早々に盆と秋の彼岸を合わせ、墓参りを済ませた。
「ただいま～っ！」。
勢いよく玄関の引き戸を開け、ランドセルを放り投げ、とっとと遊びに向かおうとした矢先。
玄関の様子がいつもと違う。
コンクリートの床に毛布が敷かれ、老犬ジョンが力なく横たわっていた。
「もうあかんようや。息も絶え絶えになって。あんたの帰りを、必死で待っとったんやに。抱いたげ」。
母が涙声でそうつぶやく。
2日ほど前から、ジョンは食事が摂れぬほど衰弱していた。
毛布の上に座り込み、ジョンの顔を太腿に持ち上げる。
するとジョンが鼻をヒクヒクさせ、重たげに瞼を開き、どんよりした生気の無い眼を向けた。
ジョンがわが家にやって来たのは、ぼくが幼稚園の年長の時。
子犬だったジョンを、本当の弟のように何処へでも連れまわした。
しかしそれも束の間。
成犬になるとジョンの方が、いつしか兄のような存在に成り果てた。
雪の降り積もった田んぼを、共に駆け回った日。
夏の真っ盛り、盥に一緒に浸り、ずぶ濡れになって行水した日。
ジョンが小さく息をするたび、共に生きたわずか6年ばかりの日々が、次々に脳裏を霞めた。
知らず知らずのうちに泪が頬を伝う。
ぼくの泪の雫が、ジョンの口元へと伝い落ちる。
するとジョンは力なく口を開き、ぼくの泪の粒を舌で舐め上げ、ゆっくりと口を閉ざし、そのまま二度と動かなくなってしまった。
「人間だってジョンだって、命の重さは同じなんやよ。勿論、花や虫も。今日はもう、ジョンを偲んで泣きたいだけ泣けばいい。お前がジョンを悼んで泣いた泪の分だけ、ジョンもわが家の家族だった証として、少しだけ命の目方を増やしてあの世へと旅立てるんやで」。
母の言葉の意味はわからなかった。
しかし、盟友ジョンを失った悲しみに暮れる中、たった一つの救いとなる魔法の言葉に思えたものだ。
このブログのコメント欄には、皆様に開示しても良いコメントをドンドンご掲示いただき、またその他のメッセージにつきましては、minoruokadahitoristudio@gmail.comへメールをいただければ幸いです。
私も学生の頃 犬を飼ってた事があるけど 最期…を経験してからは 一度も飼う事はありません。
祖父母や身近な人が 自分の前から消えてしまう体験をしてたから また新たに犬を飼おうとは思えなかったですね。
命の重さは 人も動物も同じだという事を あの時に知ったのかも知れません。
子どもの頃にそうした体験をした方が、命の儚さや尊さを自分の目で、心で感じることが出来ますものねぇ。
大切な大切なことですよねぇ。
我が家の嫁・・
犬か猫を欲しがりますが・・
どうしても死んでしまう事を考えると
飼う気になれず。
どちらにしても、中々の値段でお高いお犬様お猫様
貧乏人には到底飼うなんてムリ！
嫁曰く・・
我が家には「ダックスフント」が居るから、
マァ⤴イイか～ぁ⤴だと！
それって、ワシの事かいなぁ！
あらあら、随分と年代物のダックスフンドさんですねぇ。
ポッコリお腹で落ち武者ヘアーなんでしょうねぇ。
我が家は 『チョコちゃん』
女のコでした (◍•ᴗ•◍)❤
２８年前 今の家に越して来た時 一人っ子の息子が 『僕が面倒見るから』と言って 黒くて足だけが白い ミックス犬を飼い始めました
１４年間 本当の兄妹みたいに 微笑ましいくらい 仲良しでした ♥
最後 息子には会えなかったのが 可哀相でしたが 『我が家に来てくれてありがとう ❣️ 』 と お別れしました。
ひとり暮らしの今 コロナ禍で 外来出来なかったり 友達と会えないから 飼いたいな〜 とは思っていても やっぱりあの大変だった時の事を考えると・・・
(｡•́︿•̀｡) むりですね〜
犬にしろ猫にしろ小鳥にしたって、最後のお別れを考えると、なかなかもう衝動的に飼うことはためらっちゃいますよねぇ。
だからペットショップのウインドーショッピングは禁物！
だって目と目が合って、あの愛くるしい瞳に魅入られちゃったら最後ですもの！
今年の4月30日に名古屋市から里親となって迎えた茶トラの猫が推定14歳の命を終えました。オスでした。子どもの成長、家族の病気など僕たちにとってかけがえのない存在でした。気持ちの整理にかなりの時間を要しました。今は落ち着きました。僕の場合は、歳をとって飼ったこの猫の印象がとても強いのでした。お母様の言葉良いですね。「人間だって、ジョンだって命の重さは同じ」ぼくも猫の命終にはそう思いました。動物の死と雖も、三人称の死ではなく、二人称の死でした。
命あるものとの別離は、愛情を抱いた分だけ辛さも一入ですよねぇ。
でも時に触れ、記憶の中で鮮やかに蘇ってくれれば、今となっては棲む世界こそ異なれど、記憶の中の命が輝きだすことだってありますもの。
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